my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
