What a fucking waste of an outfit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
