Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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