We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
