Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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