Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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