Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I will pee on everything he values.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
