I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
