dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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