how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
