it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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