The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
