well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
