i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
