Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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