Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
