Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
