i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
