Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
