i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
