You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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