from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
