I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
