was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
