Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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