either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
