Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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