i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
