I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
