I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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