I smell stomach acid.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize