I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
