her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
