it's not cheating when I paid for it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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