i just google imaged poop.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
