i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize