it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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