You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Randomize
