Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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