He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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