So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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