Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you never un-have a 4some
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
