is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
