The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
