Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize