Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
