just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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