Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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