i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
