That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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