you have to choose: penises or morals?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
