we have officially lost it.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
