I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
