Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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