why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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