He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
