I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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