I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
