I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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