I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
