I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
